I really do not like it when my words come back to haunt me. I recently had a discussion with someone who is considering taking a pretty big leap. They said that they just wanted to wait until God gave them a sign that they were doing the right thing. I reminded them of this joke:
After a long period of rain it became clear that a small town on the banks of a river was going to flood. As the residents evacuated a man in a truck noticed the minister of a small church standing on the steps. He rolled down his window and yelled, “Come on, Preacher! Get in the truck and I’ll take you to safety!” The minister shook his head and replied, “Thank you, but no need. God will take care of me. ”
The water flooded out the church yard, and as it rose higher and higher, a family motored by in a boat. They called to the minister, “Come with us! We will take you to safety!” Again, the minister answered, “Thank you, but no need. God will take care of me.”
The water continued to rise and after a while, the minister made his way up to the roof top. After a while a helicopter hovered overhead and a member of the National Guard shouted down, “Give me your hand, Pastor. We will take you to safety!” The minister responded, “Thank you, but no need. God will take care of me.”
As the water continued to rise, the minister took one last breath and then seemed surprised to find himself standing at the gates of Heaven. He exclaimed, “I don’t understand, God! I had faith! I thought you would save me! Why did you allow me to die? Why didn’t you save me?”
“My son,” replied the Lord, “I tried to save you three times. I sent a truck, a boat, and a helicopter. Is it my fault you didn’t have enough sense to get into one of them?”
Now, I told this joke and then asked the person I was having a conversation with if they had really thought about what they said. The leap of faith this person was considering had been suggested by their spouse, their friends, their family, and even a few people who barely knew them. It was clear to EVERYONE around them that this was something that would be really good for this individual. Well, to everyone EXCEPT the individual.
I pointed out that perhaps all of these different people suggesting the same thing, even helping to find the resources to make it happen…..maybe THAT was the sign from God that they were waiting for. Maybe they were ignoring it, just like the minister in the joke missed the truck, the boat, and the helicopter.
Tonight, it’s my turn. I think I might be ignoring a call from above. Not ignoring, but not responding like I should. I want to be sure that I am doing the right thing. I am waiting for a sign from God. Perhaps I’ve already seen that sign though. Part of it is because I am a nervous wreck. This thing is not something I ever wanted for myself. In fact, I am pretty sure I once said, “I don’t care what anyone says. I will NEVER do that!” Yeah. Kind of like looking a God and saying, “Make me! I dare ya!”
Part of it is that I don’t feel like I am at all qualified to do what I am feeling led to do. And every time I even start to think that, I am reminded of one of my favorite sayings:
God does not call the qualified. He qualifies the called!
I know that if this is what God wants me to do, he will give me the means to do it. I’m scared though. I’m terrified, actually. What if I mess up? What if it’s a success? What if it ends up being a much larger project than I suspected.
-sigh- I know I am dragging my feet. I just need a little nudge from above if this is what I am supposed to be doing.
Because really, I never thought I would find myself here.
I never wanted to be here.
But I know that someone needs to do it.
And as much as I don’t want to admit it….. I think that maybe I am someone.
Please, please, please! Say a prayer for me. A prayer for guidance. A prayer for strength. A prayer for courage.
(I realize this post is kind of vague. I apologize for that. Part of it is not my story to tell. The part of it that is my story to tell, just isn’t ready to be told in whole yet. I do need guidance, but I believe I will probably be sharing the whole story here in time. Please, bear with me in the mean time!)